Don't Forget Where You Come From

"On the darkest days, when I feel inadequate, unloved and unworthy, I remember whose daughter I am and I straighten my crown!"

I think this last year I have forgotten some things. I think I forgot how strong I actually am. I think I forgot that I am not alone. I think I forgot where I came from. I think I forgot how to take care of myself. I forgot how it feels to be happy. I forgot that the whole reason I started this blog was so I could be honest and open, so I could maybe help someone else who has also forgotten these things. I forgot that I have a purpose.

It's funny how easy it is to just pretend like that hurt doesn't exist. It's crazy to me that we can just bottle up emotions that should be taken care of right away. We can just move on as if nothing even happened. It will probably take me a really long time to learn how to communicate how I feel, because I simply just don't know how to. This blog has been my therapy and has helped me be able to speak what I feel.

My Dad Pat sent me a song today, "Don't Forget Where You Come From" - Kyle Parks. I really needed this. because I had forgotten. I don't know how long it will take to put the pieces back together. I imagine it will be a process, but I will remember where I came from.

It's hard to admit that you feel weak, but really we should remember in our weakest of moments we truly are strong. As I put my puzzle back together piece by piece I know that I will become a stronger Woman! I was talking to someone today who really put depression into perspective, they also suffer from it and as I'm just barely grasping the fact that I have it, she has been through it for quite some time. She told me "it is natural for us to take care of everybody else, but it is selfish to not take care of yourself first so you can truly take care of others."

So how do we start loving ourselves first? It's something I'm trying to figure out every single day. Depression is new for me, I have never had it like I have recently and it's difficult to figure out how to love myself. This whole process for me has been to find happiness and truly be happy. Sometimes there are bumps in the road and we must push through for the greatest blessing at the end of the tunnel waiting for us. Loving myself is a struggle and something I'm not use to, but I hope that through this process I can truly learn how to.

It is hard to admit the truth of being completely broken. It's hard to admit that I have depression. It's hard sometimes to talk about adoption. It's hard to wake up in the morning. It's hard some days to even think about my story. It's comforting to know I am not alone. It's comforting to know that where I came from, was pretty great! It's rewarding to know that I have Jesus Christ standing next to me pushing me to do bigger and better things.

Today I was talking to one of Craig's aunts and she was telling me about a CD that I had to go get. She said that she just felt like I needed to listen to it. I bought it and listened to it and OMG, it was EXACTLY what I needed to hear. I think no matter your religion you can relate to this message. I have struggled with my depression and feeling like I'm all alone and this message was beautiful.

I know depression is not something that I will just wake up one day and be ok. It is something that I now have to learn how to cope with. Three months ago I did not even want to live, I felt so defeated and alone. I'm not saying I still don't have those days, but they are far less than a couple months ago. This message touched my soul. I know I'm not alone in this battle and I know you aren't either.

"Strength grows in the moments when you think you can't go on, but you keep going anyway!" How true is this? We have to just push through and on the days where we just wake up, we have to celebrate. Because that alone is a blessing.

CYH - Consider Yourself Hugged - A simple reminder you are never alone. This little phrase has saved my life in more ways than I can even explain. It doesn't matter what you believe you are never alone.

cyh -

Chelsea

PLEASE GO BUY THIS CD

If you suffer from anxiety, depression or ever feel like you are not enough:

https://www.seagullbook.com/you-are-already-walking-on-water-cd.html