The Unknown

Do you ever wish you could erase something you knew? Do you ever think about what your life would be like if you wouldn't have found the truth?

Since March 24th, 2017, I have felt that way. Before that day there was hope that what I have known my whole life was real. There was hope that I would finally be able to say I was enough. There was hope I was wanted by the one person I always felt I needed. There was hope that I would be accepted and loved.

The last few months I have struggled to figure out what I need or why this happened. I have struggled to find my place again. I have been angry and hurt. I have had feelings I thought were gone. The truth is, I wish I could take back that day or maybe even take back March 1st, 2017, because I would still have hope.

I went from a dark place to a very bright place in a matter of days. Maybe that's why it happened. Maybe all of this was meant to happen so I would be pulled out of my darkness and realize there is so much light. My family, friends, co-workers, etc... Maybe this was meant to happen because I need to realize that I really am strong.

"Hope is not pretending that troubles don't exist. It is the hope that they don't last forever. That hurts will be healed and difficulties overcome. That we will be led out of the darkness and into the sunshine." We all go through things in life that don't make sense, things we might want to just go back and change. We go through life changing experiences that are meant to strengthen us and help mold us into the people we are meant to be.

I will continue to have good days and bad ones. I will continue to realize that I am strong. I realized it is ok to be weak, but I will continue to look forward and find my happiness. I will not give up. I will continue to find the sunshine and use my new found strength to become better.

"It never hurts to keep looking forward" - Eeyore

cyh,

Chelsea